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Backstreet (hairdresser)'s back

DENISE! Coronation Street, ITV1, 7.30pm

Coronation StreetWe do love getting an opportunity to welcome back an old favourite soap character when they occasionally decide to return from soap limbo (usually Leicester or Scotland, although there are variants), so we're very excited indeed about the return of Denise Osbourne, former paramour of Ken Barlow (we were never quite sure why she chose to do this), mother to yet another Barlow offspring (seriously, Ken, it's called contraception - look into it), resident hairdresser before those reins were passed to the likes of Fiona and Audrey, and all-round brassy lassie.

The reason for her reappearance appears to be something to do with Ken wanting to take a more active role in son Daniel's life, presumably in the hope that he won't grow up to be a convicted murderer like adoptive sister Tracy (whose adolescence Ken did take an active role in in the first place, so we think his logic is a little flawed here), or a bigamist like his half-brother Peter. Or, for that matter, a corpse like his half-sister Susan. If Denise had any sense here, she'd take Daniel to Toronto and seek out the most powerful restraining order known to man.

But no, Denise decides to consider Ken's request and perhaps take a trip back to Weatherfield, just in time to cause a few more tremors in the earthquake that is Ken's marriage to Deirdre. Again. I mean, seriously, why bother getting remarried if your marriage is going to be on the rocks again so quickly? Admittedly they didn't know at the time that Tracy was going to bludgeon Charlie Stubbs to death in an act of misguided vengeance, but it can't have come as that much of a shock, can it? Anyway, welcome back Denise. You are just one of a long line of soap women with deeply questionable taste in men, but we love you all the same.

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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