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Mrs D, Mrs I, Mrs F-F-I, Mrs C, Mrs U-L-T

VERBAL! Star Spell, BBC1, 7.00pm
Heavens to Murgatroyd! What felicitous serendipity is this? Well, we'll be honest, we're not entirely sure if that opening sentence even makes sense, but we just wanted to throw some long words out there that you might have difficulty spelling in a tense studio-based situation. We take care of spelling and grammar as best we can here at lowculture, but we have to be honest: the only time that "spelling" and "exciting television" go together is when the former is preceded by the words "Aaron" or "Tori". But the Beeb is determined that we should have some edutainment so that we can learn without it really feeling like learning, so they've invited some more hemidemisemi-famous celebrities to test out their brains' internal dictionaries at the mercy of the viewing audience. It's a win-win when you think about it; either you get to learn some nice new words that you can throw into the conversation tomorrow at work and make everyone marvel at your verbal dexterity, or you can point and laugh as a soap actor fails to spell "temporary" correctly. Tonight, Jennies Bond and McAlpine (former royal correspondent and Fiz from Coronation Street respectively) will be taking part, alongside Bernie Nolan (always in the mood for dancing) and David Spinx (Keith from 'Stenders). There are interactive functions available, but if you don't have that all-important red button on your remote, why not keep a pen and paper handy and write down the words used in tonight's programme, and then use them to construct a poem? You could even send the poem in to us. We haven't got any prizes to give out, but we love laughing at terrible poetry.

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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