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TANYA'S BLONDE HIGHLIGHTS

All the TV that's mad, bad, or just a little bit evil for Tuesday. Our Tiny Tanya Turner ratings show just how low each show goes – the more Tanyas a show scores, the more mental it is.
» RICH! Hustle, BBC1, 9.00pm
The glamorous drama about a group of classy grifters returns for a welcome new series. It's interesting how the Beeb is bringing in its big glamour guns the same week as Footballers' Wives returns on ITV, even if they're not in direct competition with each other. Anyway, this week's con centres around a property develop who has just rumbled another con artist which resulted in them being carted off to jail. Our heroes, then, have something of a score to settle - which they will do glamorously.
» HITCH! Twisted Tales, BBC3, 10.30pm
We've not actually managed to catch any of this series yet, but the word on the grapevine has it that it's been somewhat patchy. Let's hope tonight is one of the better episodes then, since Catherine Tate (whom we love) stars in a story about a childless couple whose wish for a baby mysteriously comes true. Ten to one the baby's first words are "am I bothered?"
» SWITCH! Spice Trade: Emma Goes To Bollywood, BBC2, 11.20pm
We heard about this programme ages ago, but almost completely missed it in the listings - we were expecting it to have something of a higher profile. Has the Spice star really fallen so low? Anyway, Emma Bunton (otherwise known as lowculture favourite Spice) takes part in an exchange with Bollywood actress Sameera Reddy, where Bunton jets off to India to appear in a Bollywood movie, and Sameera heads to London to appear in Casualty. Since Emma isn't in the cast of Casualty (unless we've missed something), we can't help thinking it's not exactly a trade. Shouldn't Sameera's task involve a showstopping rendition of 'Maybe' somewhere along the line too?
» Is there something we've missed? Click on the comment link to share your tips.

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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