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All the TV that's mad, bad, or just a little bit evil for Thursday. Our Tiny Tanya Turner ratings show just how low each show goes – the more Tanyas a show scores, the more mental it is.
» LOO! Top Toilets, Channel 4, 9.25am
Since we spend so much of our time looking for the best the world has to offer in the stakes of shit television, we thought it would be appropriate to recommend this: a short film on the history of British lavatories. It'll only take up five minutes of your time - a bit like having a really good poo, if you think about it...
» BOO! Neighbours, BBC1, 1.40/5.35pm
Lyn is still in two minds about whether to believe Steph. For those of you who have just joined us, this is because Lyn is a hateful person, a terrible mother, and we would like her to die horribly quite soon for being such an ungodly bitch. And we don't even like Steph that much either, but we hate Lyn more.
» OOH! Pete Doherty Talks To Kirsty Wark, BBC4, 8.30pm
The Babyshambles and former Libertines frontman talks candidly to Kirsty Wark about his battle with drug addiction. It may be an interesting insight into the troubled mind of one of music's enigmatic figures, or it might just be another puff piece designed to try to make him into the new Kurt Cobain. Still, as long as he's back in time for curfew we don't really give a monkey's either way.
» Is there something we've missed? Click on the comment link to share your tips.

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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