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All the TV that's mad, bad, or just a little bit evil for Tuesday. Our Tiny Tanya Turner ratings show just how low each show goes – the more Tanyas a show scores, the more mental it is.
» WED! Holby City, BBC1, 8.00pm
It's wedding time at Holby again, the lucky couple in question this time being Owen and Diane. Their marriage is clearly an excellent idea, and bound to last forever, since they both wake up next to other people on the morning of the ceremony. Still, it'll be fun to watch it crumble like a sandcastle at low tide, since we're bitter and cynical like that.
» BED! The O.C., E4, 9.00pm
Seth's in turmoil tonight because Alex's ex is in town, and Alex's ex is a girl - because we didn't see that coming a mile off, at all. We're still undecided whether this is a more traumatic experience for Seth or for the audience, since despite the brimming Seth/Ryan homoeroticism that we've all been enjoying from the get-go, the producers have clearly decided that the diversity quota would be much better served by a lesbian storyline. Bastards.
» DEAD! Dead Like Me, Sky One, 9.00pm
There's more undead upset tonight as George discovers that her parents are selling their house, and uprooting all of her childhood memories. Not only that, but her bike gets stolen as well. Do these people have no sensitivity? At the very least, do they not fear the reaper?
» Is there something we've missed? Click on the comment link to share your tips.

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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