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All the TV that's mad, bad, or just a little bit evil for Wednesday. Our Tiny Tanya Turner ratings show just how low each show goes – the more Tanyas a show scores, the more mental it is.
» CHAT! Trisha Goddard, Five, 2.35pm
All Trisha lovers and lovers of Trisha must be in their element these days, since there are two opportunities to catch her during daytime hours on your tellybox. If you weren't up in time to catch the arguments on ITV before This Morning started, why not try this late afternoon version on Five? She claims it's more upmarket than her previous show. We're not convinced.
» SPAT! Coronation Street, ITV1, 7.30pm
It's the day of Tommy's funeral, and thanks to a cunning ruse on Angela's part, she's getting rid of the murder weapon at the same time as the body. Getting rid of Katy, however, may prove somewhat more difficult, since Inappropriately Attractive Craig gets up at the funeral to speak some impassioned words about his father, and it looks very much like Katy's going to follow that routine with a nice public confession. Perhaps Angela should have had her buried as well.
» COMBAT! Desperate Housewives, Channel 4, 10.00pm
Tonight in Wisteria Lane: Susan has to suck up but good to Edie when she fears that Felicia knows that Susan burned Edie's house down. Surely since everyone knows that Susan is so clumsy she can barely walk down the street without falling into a three-tier cream cake, she's got an extremely good alibi for her arsonist antics? Meanwhile, Bree gets very amorous with a shotgun, and slightly less amorous with new beau George, and Lynette provides even more reason for us to HATE HER when she pretends one of her kids has cancer in order to get him into daycare.
» Is there something we've missed? Click on the comment link to share your tips.

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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