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All the TV that's mad, bad, or just a little bit evil for Monday. Our Tiny Tanya Turner ratings show just how low each show goes – the more Tanyas a show scores, the more mental it is.
» MAX! Smallville, E4, 9.00pm
It's time for all of the geeks in the audience to give a squee of excitement, as this is the comic-crossover episode (or if we can't call it a crossover, then we can at least point out that it's a passing nod at the JLA) where Clark meets a young criminal whose power of speed rivals, and indeed surpasses, Clark's. Okay, fine, no prizes for guessing that the kid in question turns out to be The Flash, but we're still very excited, so you can just shush, okay?
» TRACKS! Chavs, Sky One, 9.00pm
It really was time for somebody to stand up and question the sneering mentality of the media (and the public at large) to chavs, and what better spokesperson could you ask for than the inimitable Julie Burchill? Surprising as it may seem, considering this is going out on Sky One, but it looks as though she's going to put forward a pretty decent case for the ending of anti-chav snobbery. Oh, Julie: is there nothing you can't do?
» FACTS! Look Around You, BBC2, 10.00pm
The jury is still out on whether the half-hour Tomorrow's World-spoofing format stretches the joke a bit too far, but personally, we love this show. It's made by the performances which always land just on the right side of knowing. Tonight, the team takes a look at food, and they're joined in the studio by special guest Andy Gough who lost 52 stone in six weeks. Round of applause for that man.
» Is there something we've missed? Click on the comment link to share your tips.

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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