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TANYA'S BLONDE HIGHLIGHTS

All the TV that's mad, bad, or just a little bit evil for Thursday. Our Tiny Tanya Turner ratings show just how low each show goes – the more Tanyas a show scores, the more mental it is.
» RUMP(OLE)! Judge John Deed, BBC1, 8.00pm
We've tried to watch this show on several occasions, but always ended up feeling slightly baffled before we got ten minutes in. Tonight, however, the producers have clearly taken pity on the slow of thinking like us and given us some eye candy to make things easier - please step forward former naked popstar and Coronation Street non-gay Adam Rickitt, appearing in an episode about murder and reality TV, so it's obviously "cutting edge".
» PLUMP! Fat Friends, ITV1, 9.00pm
The interesting thing about this show is that it is in many ways like an enormous bar of chocolate - enjoyable for as long as it lasts, but it leaves you feeling sick and regretful for some time afterwards. Still, the actors look like they're having fun, and it is always nice to see some larger role models on TV, etc etc.
» HUMP! Life As We Know It, Living TV, 9.00pm
This show is going to give us a weighty decision to make: on the one hand, we're very tempted to watch it since it concerns the sexual shenanigans of three not-all-that-ugly teenage boys. On the other hand, however, we know that Kelly Osbourne's in the cast, and we really don't know if we can knowingly subject ourselves to that.
» Is there something we've missed? Click on the comment link to share your tips.

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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