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All the TV that's mad, bad, or just a little bit evil for Tuesday. Our Tiny Tanya Turner ratings show just how low each show goes – the more Tanyas a show scores, the more mental it is.
» GOD! Holby City, BBC1, 8.00pm
We haven't recommended this show in ages, even though it represents pretty much everything lowculture stands for; we hope you can find it in your heart to forgive us for that. Tonight is a rather special episode, as the sublime Robert Powell joins the cast as Chrissie's estranged (well, not any more) father. So if Chrissie's father is Jesus, what does that make her? Maybe this is what The Da Vinci code was getting at...
» SOD! The O.C., E4, 9.00pm
More trials and tribulations from Calllllllllllliiiiiiiiiiiiffffoooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrnnnnnnnnnnnyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh (sorry) tonight, as Seth and Ryan go on a double date. Haha! Yes! We knew they'd admit that they love each other eventua...what? Oh. Apparently, they go on a double date, but with separate partners. Dammit.
» PROD! Extreme Celebrity Detox, Channel 4, 11.05pm
Or, as we shall be calling it, Not Another Bloody Reality Show. Tune in if you really fancy seeing Lisa I'Anson, Jilly Goolden, Rebecca Loos, Jack Osbourne and a bunch more annoying no-marks getting televised colonic irrigation. We've got better things to do, like reupholstering the furniture.
» Is there something we've missed? Click on the comment link to share your tips.

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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