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Wednesday, February 16, 2005

TANYA'S BLONDE HIGHLIGHTS

All the TV that's mad, bad, or just a little bit evil for Wednesday. Our Tiny Tanya Turner ratings show just how low each show goes – the more Tanyas a show scores, the more mental it is.
» FLASH! The Apprentice, BBC2, 9.00pm
The US version of this show was hilarious, with the unparalleled Donald Trump making a bunch of business wannabes jump through hoops in order to win a lucrative contract. The UK version replaces Trump with Amstrad tycoon Alan Sugar, so the make-or-breakness of the whole thing pretty much lies on his shoulders. We hope he's up to the job.
» GASH! Life Begins, ITV1, 9.00pm
This is the sort of thing we can imagine Little Britain's Emily Howard sitting down to watch of an evening, being as it is clearly laydee's television. We have a foolproof way of detecting laydee's television - you just wait to see if Caroline Quentin is in it. Obviously, this one's pretty much a jackpot on that front. That's not to say it's without merit, but we'll be chopping some wood down the shed in order to safeguard our masculinity.
» SMASH! Desperate Housewives, Channel 4, 10.00pm
The shit hits the fan in the Van De Kamp household this week as Rex tells Bree he's getting a divorce. Good news for Andrew and Danielle, who get a car and a trip to modelling school respectively as guilt gifts from their father. It all ends in tears, of course - specifically Andrew's, but it's okay, because we're more than happy to offer to make things better for him, since he is hot in a semi-inappropriate way.
» Is there something we've missed? Click on the comment link to share your tips.

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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TANYA'S BLONDE HIGHLIGHTS :: TANYA'S BLONDE HIGHLIGHTS :: TANYA'S BLONDE HIGHLIGHTS :: TANYA'S BLONDE HIGHLIGHTS :: TANYA'S BLONDE HIGHLIGHTS :: NOTHING HURTS LIKE BEING MOCKED BY SOMEONE ON THE ... :: TANYA'S BLONDE HIGHLIGHTS :: EURO TITILATION :: TANYA'S BLONDE HIGHLIGHTS :: TANYA'S BLONDE HIGHLIGHTS ::

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