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All the TV that's mad, bad, or just a little bit evil for Friday. Our Tiny Tanya Turner ratings show just how low each show goes – the more Tanyas a show scores, the more mental it is.
» WOOT! EastEnders, BBC1, 8.00pm
A longstanding wrong is finally righted in the Square tonight - Dirty Den dies. Hurrah! Of course, we can't help feeling that it was slightly more interesting a concept the first time it happened. Chrissie, Sam and Zoe set out to give the rotter his comeuppance, but things go somewhat awry. So unusual for that to happen in a soap opera, isn't it?
» BOOT! American Idol, ITV2, 8.30pm
It's time for the elimination down to the final 24 contestants in the stateside edition of the Idols format. Simon Cowell, Paula Abdul and Randy Jackson are all on hand to dole out the insults and the compliments, but we can't help thinking how much the format suffers without the ramblings of Pete Waterman. Any chance of getting him a guest judge slot? That would be worth tuning in for.
» HOOT! The Simpsons, Channel 4, 9.00pm
In a typically hilarious mix-up, Homer's attempts to avoid work result in him opening a daycare centre for the tots of Springfield, which becomes a massive success and gets him a nomination for a "Good Guy" award. Bart and Lisa are incensed, of course, and set to expose him for the bad-tempered firstborn-strangling fraud that he is.
» Is there something we've missed? Click on the comment link to share your tips.

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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