Tuesday, February 22, 2005
BOLDLY GOING, GOING... GONE!
You may accuse lowculture of many things (others do – frequently), but being a Trekkie is not one of them. Nevertheless, we feel quite sorry for our more geeky friends in what seems to be their darkest hour.
UPN, the TV network that shows Star Trek: Enterprise has decided that the current series should be the last. This comes as no surprise – ratings have never been great, critical acclaim has been in decidedly short supply, it's actually quite rubbish and it has the worst theme tune of any Star Trek series to date – it's sung by Russell Watson, for fuck's sake! And a keen desire for a glimpse of that Vulcan bird's tits was only ever going to keep the non-gay viewers tuning in for so long.
Concerned fans are frantic at the thought that the canning of the show might mean the end of the whole Star Trek "thing" - especially as the last movie didn't really set the box office alight and there are no firm plans for another.
When the fans of Doctor Who found themselves in a similar predicament, they vented their anger in a series of stern but polite phone calls to the BBC switchboard, before giving up and going down the pub to start drinking their way through more than a decade in the cold.
Star Trek lovers do not plan to admit defeat so easily, though, and are currently mounting a campaign to raise $32million to fund the whole of the next season themselves. They're doing quite well so far, and have raised all of $34,290.
Of course, the real tragedy of the situation is that they could have paid for the show to be made until the end of time if they hadn't already spent so much of their cash on thousands of useless novels, action figures, videos, DVDs and Deanna Troi commemorative garden gnomes. They just loved too much!