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Hooray! It's my birthday today, so in a blatant fit of self-absorption that pays slight reference to the Birthday Fact Frenzy, every second amazing fact about Thursday, January 27, will be about yours truly!
» Hear'Say made their first appearance as a foursome at The Point, Ireland, today in 2002, following the departure of Kym Marsh from the band.
» My first pet dog was called Nero. And so was the second one! Other pets I've had through the years include: Margaret the cat (deceased), Lucky the goldfish (deceased), and Sophie Bubbles, a bionic cat whose rear left leg is partially made of metal (still thriving).
» A drunken grizzly bear staggered down the high street of La Balle in Canada with a rubbish bin on its head, today in 1932. The beast had previously swallowed a gallon of wine.
» I wear a size 11 shoe. Often two of them. That makes it a bugger to find stilettoes. Try www.sexyunderworld.com. But not while you're reading this, obviously.
» The River Thames caught fire today in 1906 when the oil on its surface ignited.
» We met Emmerdale's Diane Blackstock, Elizabeth Estensen, during a charity cricket match in Aberdeenshire. We even got our picture taken with her. But we lost points by mixing up Tallulah and Tabatha Bag from that kid's TV programme on ITV severalteen years ago.
» Many of Britain's music legends were lining up to perform at the Queen's Golden Jubilee today in 2002. Among them were: Mick Jagger, Paul McCartney, Elton John, Phil Collins and Robbie Williams.
» I wanted to go to a Mexican restaurant this Saturday to mark our birthday, but the only decent one in Aberdeen was booked up. The man on the end of the phone actually laughed at my request to book a table. We're settling for tapas at another venue.
» Cilla Black made her acting debut today in 1965. She appeared in the title role of Little Red Riding Hood at the Wimbledon Theatre in London.
» Several years ago, I placed a stone at the Queen's feet to mark the 250th anniversary of a sandstone cathedral on the Scottish island of viking descent that we call home. But she took too long walking forward to witness this historic act, so it was the girl behind me that got asked all the questions by the local press.
» The first edition of children's comic Twinkle hit the shelves today in 1968. Nowadays, such publications are likely to be found sandwiched between "Fadge" and "Minge Monthly".
» After suggesting I needed a new toaster a few years ago, my family persists in sending me kitchen appliances for my birthday. The list so far includes: a juicer (used twice), a slow cooker (please, somebody, explain the fucking point of this appliance), and a kettle that goes "Moo" when it boils. I'm asking for money this year.
» Happy birthday to: Composer Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart (deceased), author Lewis Carroll (deceased), actress Bridget Fonda (41), former Home and Away actor Nic Testoni , aka Travis Nash, (33), former take that singer Mark Owen (31), and me, but I don't think we need to go into any great detail here.

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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