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FUCK ME FACTS!


We were so wrapped up in these amazing facts about Wednesday, January 26, that we almost forgot to write a witty intro. And now we're running out of space*, so we'll let them speak for themselves for once!

» It's seven years to the day since American President Bill Clinton said: "I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky." No, some big boys did it and ran away, Bill.
» It was reported that a Popstars-style reality TV search for a Playboy centrefold was to be launched, with the winner to appear in the June issue of the magazine. "Hmm, nice minge control, but I don't think your tits have the right attitude."
» A year ago, police in Montenegro were hunting a teenage gunman who burst into a school staffroom and forced the teachers to give all students top marks. Which gets an A+ for initiative in our book.
» It's 26 years since The Dukes of Hazzard made its debut on television. We had one of those little wind up General Lee cars that shot out from a holster on the wrist some years later. Or maybe it was Kitt?
» A woman in Florida inadvertantly went on to save the life of a 92-year-old after dialling the wrong number today in 2001. Luella Chester was suffering from heart failure when the phone rang, but managed to pick up the receiver and call for help.
» The battery-powered dentist's drill was patented in Michigan by George F Green today in 1875. We can only imagine the sound of it scraping against the teeth . . .
» Happy birthday to: Growly singer and euphemism for taking a dump, Eartha Kitt (77), funny lesbifriend Ellen De Generes, who we much preferred in "Ellen" rather than "The Ellen Show" or whatever it's called (47), Blue Peter's Simon Thomas (32), and Rebecca Ritters, famous for playing Hannah Martin in Neighbours (21).
*For "space" read "wit".

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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