Tuesday, January 25, 2005
AIN'T IT TWO, TWO BAD ABOUT US
Yes, it's been two long, long years since your beloved lowculture first appeared on the internet with a rather boring post about nothing of any great importance. In the intervening 24 months, the website has got a bit good, then got a bit rubbish, and occasionally been good again from time to time, on the increasingly rare occasions that the writers can be bothered with it.
To mark this glorious day, we have decided to revive one of the "regular" features that we have introduced, got bored with, then quietly dropped again – the Birthday Fact Frenzy. If you're an old timer you will know that, as ever, every second fact in the frenzy is COMPLETELY FALSE. Wooooooo!
1. Lowculture was invented by a bored local newspaper designer named Paul who wanted a public forum on which to write about Crossroads, Holby City and other rubbish he liked to watch on TV.
2. The launch of the site was delayed for 35 minutes due to industrial action.*
3. After choosing the name, Paul was a bit worried that there was already a website called www.lowculture.com – but eventually reasoned that there was unlikely to be any confusion between a dull corporate website about an advertising agency and a topical weblog about pop culture. Anyone who has visited www.lowculture.com lately will be having a little chuckle right about now.
4. Fuck Me Facts! writer Neil is legally bound to write his column at least twice a week under the terms of his community service order.*
5. The first fan mail received from a reader came on February 6 from a young gentleman named Matt. Reading on, it turned out he was just after a plug for his own website, www.bestworst.co.uk. This email led to all kinds of comedy incidents, but frankly we haven't the time to go into them here.
6. The Queen is a regular lowculture reader – but she has to do her browsing in secret, as Prince Philip thinks the Fuck Me Facts are "vulgar".*
7. Due to its increasing unpopularity, the site now costs only £11.99 a month to run.
8. Of the many thousands of readers who have visited over the last two years, the writing team has shagged seven or eight at the very most.*
9. Well actually, it's more like 10. But who's counting?
10. Tanya's Blonde Highlights genius Steve got down to the final two for the part of Tanya in Footballers Wives, but the producers eventually rejected him on the grounds that he was a boy.*
* Not true
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