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FUCK ME FACTS!

We're having a suit crisis. As much as we dislike wearing them, we need another one for work, and one with machine washable trousers if possible. But could we find said suit with a 34 long trouser? Could we knackers. Until they're ordered, best make the most of these amazing facts about Monday, January 17:
» Former boxing champion Barry McGuigan announced he wanted to be a popstar today in 2001. He's probably just waiting for the right song.
» On the same day, it was revealed that 20.89million viewers tuned in to watch Eastender's Sonia grunt her way to becoming a soap mum the previous month.
» English explorer Robert Falcon Scott reached the South Pole today in 1912, only to find that Norwegian Roald Amundsen had made it there a month earlier. Shimmering shitsheets!
» Former Turner Prize nominee Tracey Emin donated her slippers to Art 2001 in aid of the South London Gallery. Sometimes we struggle to separate high culture from low culture, we really do . . .
» The Millennium Bug may not have killed us all, but it did creepily turn newborn babies into centenarians in 2000 after computer errors printed their birth certificates with the year 1900. Staff rewrote them by hand.
» Beach volleyball authorities ruled that bikinis must measure no mre than two-and-a-half inches between outer waist and leg, today in 1999. They may have also specified minimum breast size, but we don't have any detail on that (nor any desire to find out).
» Barry Manilow held the first auditions for his West End Show, Copacabana, today in 1994. When it opened, the Daily Express called it a "nerve-shattering, stunningly bad experience". We're sure we'd have loved it.
» Happy birthday to: Former Coronation Street actor and current Celebrity Fit Club contestant Ken Morley (62), singer Paul "not so" Young (49), TV presenter Keith Chegwin (48), and singer Shabba Ranks (39).

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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