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TANYA'S BLONDE HIGHLIGHTS

All the TV that's mad, bad, or just a little bit evil for Monday. Our Tiny Tanya Turner ratings show just how low each show goes – the more Tanyas a show scores, the more mental it is.
» SPLAT! Coronation Street, ITV1, 7.30pm
When we heard there was going to be a storyline involving the Barlows and McDonalds going on a TV quiz show, we actually scoffed. We're prepared to eat our words now, because Sunday's episode was so brilliantly executed that we can forgive the complete implausibility of the whole thing. Steve is stuck on the hot spot being asked questions about shoes: does he dare phone Karen and ask her for help, since she has no idea where he is? Prepare yourself for a fan by the end of the evening, with the strong possibility of some shit hitting it.
» FLAT! 2D-TV, ITV1, 11.00pm
There's no shortage of satire on telly tonight, with Dead Ringers and Monkey Dust on BBC Two as well, but this is usually worth a look. In tonight's series opener, we can look forward to the Paula Radcliffe workout video (we'll bet you ten-to-one she doesn't finish it) and Gordon Ramsey getting involved in some kind of hilarious mix-up that prompts profanities, as well as the usual Blair, Bush and royal family sketches.
» BAT(TY)! A Very Brady Sequel, BBC One, 12.05am
It went straight to video in the UK (one source told us due to an obscure BBFC regulation about the depiction of weaponry onscreen, but we don't think this source is 100% reliable), but by all accounts it's well worth setting the old video for (or the TiVo or Sky+, if you're posh). The story's still the same - it's still the 1990s, the Bradys are still partying like it's 1975. Cue culture clash gags aplenty.
» Is there something we've missed? Click on the comment link to share your tips.

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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