(function() { (function(){function c(a){this.t={};this.tick=function(a,c,b){var d=void 0!=b?b:(new Date).getTime();this.t[a]=[d,c];if(void 0==b)try{window.console.timeStamp("CSI/"+a)}catch(l){}};this.tick("start",null,a)}var a;if(window.performance)var e=(a=window.performance.timing)&&a.responseStart;var h=0=b&&(window.jstiming.srt=e-b)}if(a){var d=window.jstiming.load;0=b&&(d.tick("_wtsrt",void 0,b),d.tick("wtsrt_","_wtsrt", e),d.tick("tbsd_","wtsrt_"))}try{a=null,window.chrome&&window.chrome.csi&&(a=Math.floor(window.chrome.csi().pageT),d&&0=c&&window.jstiming.load.tick("aft")};var f=!1;function g(){f||(f=!0,window.jstiming.load.tick("firstScrollTime"))}window.addEventListener?window.addEventListener("scroll",g,!1):window.attachEvent("onscroll",g); })(); lowculture: CALL ON MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE


You may have heard a succession of shrieks while passing by the towers of Lowculture's American outpost this past weekend. The reason for the commotion this time around was the final stretch of the American presidential race and several phone calls from celebrities imploring us to vote for John Kerry. It seemed that every time the phone rang it was someone like Sarah Jessica Parker or Rosanne or Bruce Springsteen or Elijah Wood! A typical conversation would go like this:

Phone: >hip Gina G ringtone<
Us: Hello. (slightly annoyed)
Sarah Jessica Parker: Hi! This is Sarah Jessica Parker!
Sarah Jessica Parker: I want to tell you that your vote is important... blah.. blah..
Us: I LOVE YOU! Let's talk about shoes and boys.
Sarah Jessica Parker: John Kerry needs your help...
Us: He has it! Anything for you, Jessica!
Sarah Jessica Parker: Please contact blah blah to volunteer for blah blah
Us: Sarah? Shoes. Sex. Talk to me.
Sarah Jessica Parker: Thanks!
Us: Bitch.

On Saturday, a real life Vito Morgenson crossed our path and almost cut us with his cheekbones as we skillfully avoided The Goo Goo Dolls. An hour later, Elijah phoned up and totally pretended we did not ask him for a fuck. We always planned to vote for John Kerry anyway, but he wasn't to know that – he seriously needs some more dedicated and willing campaign stumpers.

By Paul :: Post link :: ::  
0 pop-up comments :: Discuss on messageboard

Links to this post:



Post a Comment

Tiny things for you to watch:

* To open in a
new window,
click anywhere
EXCEPT the icon.


Your views from our forums. Click on the quote to join the discussion.

About Us

According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

Click here to email.

La Vida Lowculture