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TANYA'S BLONDE HIGHLIGHTS

All the TV that's mad, bad, or just a little bit evil for Tuesday. Our Tiny Tanya Turner ratings show just how low each show goes – the more Tanyas a show scores, the more mental it is.
» BREAKING RULES! The O.C., E4, 7.00pm
More wealthy angst in the Orange County. Ryan is fearful of being sent to another foster home and decides to run away, because anyone who's ever watched TV knows that's always a brilliant plan. Seth assists by hiding him in one of Kirsten's unfinished developments. Not shown: Ryan and Seth in the unfinished development, naked, having hot boy sex. Oh, come on: if this show were any more homoerotic, you'd have to buy it from Clone Zone.
» TOTAL FOOLS! Little Britain, BBC Three, 9.00pm
We're probably going to end up recommending this every Tuesday, so you might as well get used to it. The jury might still be out on a few of the new characters (although we love Bubbles and the monotonal "computer says no" bank clerk), but the old favourites are here to entertain. Tonight, not-very-good transvestite Emily Howard and her trainee Florence go shopping for ladylike bridal gowns, while flaming ministerial aide Sebastian Love meets his equally inappropriate stateside counterpart.
» BACK TO SCHOOL(S)! Teachers, Channel 4, 10.00pm
A moment of silence, please, for the deaths of Kurt and Brian. Seen by many as the figureheads of the series, their absence may leave a gaping hole in this new run. There are new staff members, however, to keep us entertained: Ewan, the new head of English, who may not win any awards for brainpower but turns a few female heads, hypochondriac atheist RE teacher Ben (The Lovely Mathew Horne, of "am I bothered?" fame from The Catherine Tate Show), and cynical food technology teacher Damien join Penny, Lindsay, Bob, Liz, Carol et al. Oh, and that donkey's still lurking in the background. Nice to know some things are still sacred.
» Is there something we've missed? Click on the comment link to share your tips.

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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