Wednesday, October 27, 2004
FUCK ME FACTS!
Good grief! It's the middle of the week already, and we're falling seriously behind in our facts! Enjoy this bumper helping of honey-glazed nuggets about Wednesday, October 27, as our way of saying sorry:
» It was announced, today in 1969, that all wildlife in a 3,000 acre radius of Camberley in Surrey was to be destroyed after a rabid dog bit two people. Tch! Somebody burnt a hole in one of our curtains at the weekend, but are we going to torch the flat? We don't think so!
» Boxer shorts were introduced today in 1901. Gentlemen's gentlemen were tightly strapped to the thigh beforehand, we imagine. Our very first pair of boxers had green stripes and bore the image of Johnny Fartpants. They may very well have said "TOOT! TRUMP! PARP!" or words to that effect at the rear.
» It's seven years since Rowdy Blackwell set a new world record by "playing" 256 tambourines in 20.47seconds. We hazard a guess that "playing" could loosely be translated as "legging it in a straight line with an arm outstretched, twatting every stretched skin on your way past".
» Tit tale 1: Today in 2000, a man was sentenced to ten years in prison stealing $100,000 worth of pigs from a farm to pay for his favourite local stripper to have implants. But surely the bristles would tickle her nipples?
» Tit tale 2: On the same day, a Canadian man who'd had breast implants to win a bet decided to keep them in.
» Exeter City FC substitute Ben Rowe was sent off - while sitting in the dug-out. Nae luck, Ben!
» Travesty! Kylie Minogue won the Worst Female Singer award at the Smash Hits Poll Winners' party. Meanwhile, fruity-foreskinned EMF took Best British Group.
» Happy birthday to: Actor, comedian, etcetera John Cleese (65); Duran Duran singer Simon Le Bon (46); and Kelly Osbourne, who's 20. Smile, Kelly! It's your birthday!