Monday, October 04, 2004
FUCK ME FACTS!
We were just going to leave the facts blank today out of badness, but instead we've decided to fill them chock-full of wonderfullness about Monday, October 4:
» Alfred Dick, the Bavarian minister for the environment, asked people not to yodel in the Alps for fear of frightening the golden eagle population - 16 years ago today! We hear the Alpenineans* took to the caves, and the low hum of their yodels now only worries the local bat population**.
» It's five years since S Club 7 had to cancel their scheduled appearance at the Virgin Megastore in London's Oxford Street, due to fears there weren't enough police to look after a predicted crowd of 10,000. How times change! They could be walking about stark bollock naked these days, and our only concern would be that there was a copper on hand to arrest them.
» Ooh, how exciting! It was reported three years ago that the Queen had a rubber duck - complete with crown - in her bath. N.B. Please don't wear your crown in the bath - you might spoil the ermine if you get it wet.
» A man and woman were charged with lewd conduct after being caught having sex in the business class section of an American Airlines flight five years ago today. And they only met on the plane! We were going to say they lacked class, but we'd be wrong - they were in the posh bit of the plane after all. Perhaps they even got a hot towel for afterwards.
» Happy birthday to: Actress Susan Sarandon, who'll forever be Janet *slut!* Weiss in our eyes, (58); Anneka Rice, who's swapped jumping out of helicopters for drawing and painting (48); Coronation Street's Racquel, Sarah Lancashire, (40), and actress Alicia Silverstone (28).
» Unrelated fact of the day: The top three cork-producing countries in the world are, in reverse order . . . Algeria! . . . Portugal! . . . and . . . Spain! Better luck next year, Portugal. You was robbed.
** Or whatever. Horses, chinchillas, or whatever lives in the Alpen* caves. And maybe they don't even have caves. We just don't know. This is why Mr Dick should have just left things be.