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FUCK ME FACTS!

So many facts, and so little time! Get stuck in to these amazing nuggets about Thursday, September 30:
» The stapler was patented by Samuel Slocum today in 1841. That's all well and good, but we just want to know whether his wife had a purple rinse and kept going on about her pussy.
» It says here that "the new, lighter 10p coin" was introduced 12 years ago. Well, we've tried rubbing it, scratching it and thumping it, but we still can't get the fucking things to ignite.
» The results of the 2001 census were revealed two years ago today, showing that 58,789,194 were living in Britain. "Strangers are just friends you haven't met," or so the saying goes. Well, we hope so, because some of the people we do know are utter twats.
» A 12-year-old girl broke the world record for eating Smarties, scoffing 108 in three minutes two years ago. We don't know if that includes the time it takes to pick all the orange ones out to eat later.
» "People don't make passes at people who wear glasses," goes the cruel, vain saying. Nevertheless, a British survey in 2002 revealed that four-eyed, speccy, jam-jar laden women were four times less likely to pull men than those who didn't.
» In 1919, actor and stuntman Harold Lloyd lost a thumb and forefinger when a fake bomb exploded. Quite how a device which detonates and causes destruction can be called "fake", we just don't know.
» It's 44 years since The Flintstones premiered on American television. Mel Blanc, the voice of Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck, provided the voice for Barney Rubble.
» A year later, Grampian Television was launched in the north-east of Scotland. Hooray! At the height of her fame, former presenter Diana Speed recorded the safety announcement message for the ferry to Orkney: Fact!
» Five years ago, M People announced they would not play a Millennium Eve gig in Manchester after fans complained of a lack of transport, babysitting, and high ticket prices. "They're staying home, they're staying home . . ."
» We're saving all of our birthday wishes today for actress Rula Lenska, who's 57. We can't actually remember watching her in anything, but we remember she had lovely red hair. And she used to be married to Dennis Waterman.

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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