All the TV that's mad, bad, or just a little bit evil for Wednesday. Our Tiny Tanya Turner ratings show how low each show goes – the more Tanyas a show scores, the more mental it is.
» AND THE WINNER IS... Inside Soap Awards, Living TV, 9pm In case you just weren't convinced by the results of the National Soap Awards, the TV Quick awards, and all those other awards, here's your chance to see how the nation ranks their favourite soaps and soap stars. To keep up the nail-biting tension of the evening, the event was pre-recorded, and the results were in all the papers days and days ago.
» AND THE LOSERS ARE... The Celebrity Awards, ITV1, 8pm At last! An awards ceremony for all those people who are famous for nothing in particular. Expect to see Adele Silva take some sort of gong for "Most Mentions In Interviews Of How Much I Would Like To Go Back To Emmerdale". Presented, naturally, by Martine McCutcheon.
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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses.
We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.