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TANYA'S BLONDE HIGHLIGHTS

All the TV that's mad, bad, or just a little bit evil for Tuesday. Our Tiny Tanya Turner ratings show just how low each show goes – the more Tanyas a show scores, the more mental it is.
» DYSFUNCTION! A Thing Called Love, BBC One, 9.00pm
What's this? Why, it's a primetime drama on BBC One featuring the not-ugly-at-all Paul Nicholls in a leading role. It's being described as a unique take on relationships from a man's point of view, but we're more excited by the cast list, which reads like a Who's Who of lowculture, were we ever to write one: Ben Miles (Coupling), Kaye Wragg (any number of grim northern dramas), Chris Gascoyne (dastardly Peter Barlow in Coronation Street), Roy Baraclough (less dastardly Alec Gilroy from same) and Micaiah Dring (Footballers' Wives). All it's missing is Zoe Lucker and Su Pollard. Memo to the producers: get them optioned for series two.
» DYSFUNCTION! Six Feet Under, Channel 4, 11.05pm
After the outright unpleasantness of last week's episode, it's back to good, dependable repression for the folks of Fisher and Diaz. David's having issues with his ordeal of last week, Nate's having issues with his dead wife (of the still-being-able-to-see-her variety), Claire's having issues along the lines of to-ladybum-or-not-to-ladybum, and Ruth's having issues with her boring marriage. Meanwhile, the audience has issues with the ridiculously late slot Channel 4 insist on screening this show in.
» AND MORE DYSFUNCTION! Game On, UKTV Gold, 11.55pm
An oldie, yes, but a goodie. In this episode, we get an insight into what Matthew gets up to while Martin and Mandy are at work. Well, isn't it obvious? He re-enacts scenes from Reservoir Dogs, he fails to chat up hot pizza delivery girls, and he puts Mandy's underwear on and goes to sleep in her bed. The sort of thing you expect your landlord to do behind your back, really.
» Is there something we've missed? Click on the comment link to share your tips.

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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