Friday, January 11, 2008

Something's come along and it's burst our bubble

SERIAL DRAMA! The soaps, usual channels, usual times

It's been a while since we previewed most of the soaps, and by now they should all be in the throes of post-Christmas-near-apocalypse fallout so as there is nothing particularly exciting on tonight that we haven't already previewed recently, we thought we'd give you a little run down on where things are at with each of them.

In Doctors, the soap that isn't quite a soap, there is some tedious ongoing business, including some more on the *so wrong* affair between George and Nick, and a slightly more interesting patient storyline involving a woman stabbing her husband in the leg because she gets frustrated with a TV shopping channel. Now, that's more like it.

After its long winter break Neighbours is back, and we missed it so much that we have forgiven the fact that it hasn't been very good of late. Sadly, today's episode doesn't feature much in the way of Valda, or Frazer, or Harold, or Lou, or Susan (though next week Susan's illness - and yes, we know what it is, and we are also not telling - comes more to the forefront). It does feature the Barnes/Napiers, and the tedious plot involving Gus Cleary's made-up sister. But it's still more entertaining than life without it.

Home and Away sees the sexual tension between Jonah and Martha reach a climax (ahem) and also features a death. We won't tell you who. Meanwhile, in Hollyoaks, Micksy is still flirting with the absurdly young priest. We think she will be out of luck. Elliot and JP try more Rubbish Tranny pwning, which is always a good thing. And even Swimbint gets in on the Tranny pwning action today. We like that the writers have turned on him recently and realised how obnoxious he really is. The Barnes family are trying to come to terms with the fact that Bintmother Kathy poos in tupperware to taunt the neighbours, and in a move that will divide the opinions of the board, and of all Hollyoaks viewers, a new relationship is consummated...

Of the big three, in Emmerdale the Nicola/David storyline trudges on, whilst Val has health worries... Coronation Street is building up to the big events of next week, when one of the show's longest-serving characters bows out. Tonight, however, we see Kevin go to trial, Ryan go missing, and David potentially get some girl action. Surely that one can't end at all well? As for EastEnders, Darren's inexplicable rise into rubbishy EastEnders wide-boy type continues, and Ian's pushy parenting of Peter escalates. Take your bets on the outcome of this story, people. Will it be drugs? An eating disorder? Running away? A suicide attempt? Or emulating big brother Steven and creating awesome forms of Ian-torturing revenge?

Labels: Coronation Street, doctors, EastEnders, Emmerdale, Hollyoaks, Home and Away, neighbours, Soap operas

By Rad :: Post link :: ::  
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Monday, December 03, 2007

Hogan's ghost!

Ever since Kate Ritchie announced her departure from Home and Away, we've been wondering just how Sally's exit storyline might unfold. Producers have promised an upbeat ending, so we don't have to face the prospect of her being eaten by crocodiles or carried off by a typhoon. To see her fall in love with a passing hunky surfer and disappear to Queensland overnight would be equally heartbreaking. Lucky, it looks like something much more interesting is planned.

Readers with long memories will remember that, when Sal was a nipper, she had an imaginary friend called Milco who used to accompany her everywhere she went and make her do BAD THINGS. Intriguingly, it looks like Milco's going be the key to her departure. Watch the YouTube thingy if you want to know more.



SO EXCITING!

Labels: Home and Away, Kate Richie

By Paul :: Post link :: ::  
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Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Soap gaiety alert

HOMO! Home and Away, Five, 6.00pm

Having taken great pains to point out the required items of male nudity to your attention yesterday, today we're turning our attention to important moments of soap gayness. With all of the public service work we're doing this week, we ought to get an MBE or something. If they're handing them out to June Sarpong, of all people, then frankly we can't be much further down the list.

While we were here thinking that the only matters of soap homo-ness worth discussing at the moment was the saga of John Paul on Hollyoaks (and believe us, when he finally reveals to Craig that he's got the hots for him, we'll be all over that like a comedy crabs storyline over a Chester resident's pubes), we realised that there's important gaiety happening in Home and Away - primarily in the shape of Matilda's love interest Dean, who appears to like his women a bit more hairy and muscular. And preferably to have a penis.

We're a bit behind on the soap because we're not usually home in time to catch it, but from what we gather, the big reveal's due to happen tomorrow, but the seeds are being sown tonight as Lucas tells Beth the truth about Dean's sexuality. Do not, under any circumstances, volunteer to do overtime at work tonight or tomorrow. Go home. Go directly home, do not pass go, do not collect £200. (PS. Look at how emo Matilda looks in that picture? Now that's a proper "oh noes, my boyfriend's a bit gay" face if ever we saw one.)

Labels: Five, Home and Away, Soap, soap gaiety, TV

By Steve :: Post link :: ::  
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