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Nancy, boys

SWINDLE! I'd Do Anything, BBC One, 7.30pm

Saturday nights haven't been the same since Lee Mead, Daniel Boys and co got themselves a whole bunch of nice West End jobs (and Seamus got to appear in, ahem, a Michael Jackson tribute show). And whilst several LC members have enjoyed seeing the gents tread the boards, we have been missing the cruel spectacle wonderful thrill of choosing a New West End Leading Lady or Man (TM) and seeing the losers cruelly serenaded on their way out. Though 'So Long, Farewell' and 'Close Every Door' are going to take some beating, particularly the ace coat removing gesture the boys had to go through.

So naturally we were all very excited when I'd Do Anything was announced. OK, certain members of the forum were a little unimpressed that there would be no male talent to drool over, but that disappointment was quelled by the knowledge that not only would we see a group of ladies competing to be Nancy, we'd get to crush the hope of dozens of stage school brats as we chose the Olivers. When it was announced that Cameron Mackintosh would take over from orange David Ian and Betty Turpin's son as the theatre bod, Barry Humphries would join the panel and Zoe Tyler wouldn't be there, expectations grew all the higher.

Unfortunately, last week, it was revealed that the public would not have a role in voting for the children, and Andrew and Cameron would be doing all that stuff themselves. Boooo! We can't think why. After all, letting under-16s onto the recent series of The X Factor was such a spectacular success (*cough*).

The forums erupted in a blaze of fury at this announcement:

'Not only are they denying us child labour, they're now taking away our viewer vote. Do they not want tears?' - Muinimula

'Well what's the fucking point of having the Oliver quest then?' - Sparkle

'Bloody hell, weeping ten year old stage school brats was the only reason I was going to tune in. If you're not casting Oliver in Oliver, then who cares anyway?' - Jetsetwilly

Never mind, people, we're sure there'll be plenty of chance to vent your spleen and indulge in some Barrowman/Van Outen bashing in the chatroom tonight. But be warned, at times like this it can be standing room only in there...

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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