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Jackson | noun, informal: a lesbian

SURREAL! Harry Hill's TV Burp, ITV1, 12.35am

Harry Hill's TV BurpArguably the best thing on telly at teatime on a Saturday is Harry Hill's TV Burp, but unfortunately that's also the time where we're most likely to completely forget to watch it. We prayed to the gods of television (we usually specifically target Heather Locklear, because she's generally quite benevolent where we're concerned, but she was unavailable on this occasion so we settled for Su Pollard) for a repeat, and while they give with one hand, they slap you round the chops with the other, because 12.35am isn't exactly an ideal time for us either. Still, it's better than an extra half hour of The Mint.

As well as spotting some of the slightly weirder things to happen in the soaps (we love the show's skill for finding the perfect moments to take out of context and thus change their meaning entirely - especially the ones involving Marlon from Emmerdale, lowculture substitute (we're not entirely happy about that as a concept, but if you're going to cheat on us we'd rather it were with a TV show than if you started seeing other websites) for tracking down some of the more craptacular programmes that get buried in the TV schedules and are best watched from behind the fingertips.

The only downside is that you may never be able to enjoy television in a straightforward non-thinking fashion ever again. You'll be too busy looking for that unfortunate bit of blocking that makes Naomi from EastEnders look like a Christmas tree or something.

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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