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Monday, January 15, 2007

Pete Waterman Day

Pete Waterman turns 60 today and, since his birthday is an official LOWCULTURE holiday, it seems fitting to take a look back on his accomplishments.

According to Wikipedia and his autobiography titled I Wish I Was Me, Pete's inventions over the years include pop music, Pop! music, Pop Idols, railroads, nightclubs, gays, Minogues, the toothbrush, ABBA, chewing gum, Steps, actual steps, music videos, shoe polish, Bananarama, polka dots, Dolly Dots, game shows and the light bulb.

In 2002, Pete committed suicide when the band that he managed, Girls Aloud, went to number one in the charts.

2006 was an unusually quiet year for Pete. Here are just a few of his personal highlights:

» Pete reunited with his old pals Mike Stock and Matt Aitken! After fifty minutes of awkward silence, they again began fighting over which order to place their names on the logo. A year later, they still have not accomplished anything.
» In March, Pete discovered a new liquorice recipe while working on a cure for cancer. Lucky for Pete, Kylie loves liquorice!
» Over the summer, Pete was reunited with his long lost brother, Pete Fireman.
» In August, Pete swam across the English Channel with Sinitta riding on his back.
» Late in the year, ITV agreed pay a staggering amount of cash in order to purchase Jason Donovan from Pete. Pete used the money to finally finish his new bathroom.

It is difficult for us to lavish enough praise on Pete Waterman. After all, we're no Pete Waterman! Still, there are very few people who have given us the same amount of sheer joy and pure entertainment that he has. He has raised the bar quite high for his next sixty years of contributions to low culture.

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By Mark :: Post link :: ::  
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2 Comments:

nice try at being all "rock profile" but it fell a bit flat really didn't it... It's nicer when you comment rather then appear to think you're funny.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:26 am  

I'd have to disagree - it's posts like this that remind me why I started reading Lowculture back in the heady days of 2003 when Bernie Nolan in The Bill had us all in the mood for dancing and TV lesbians looked like Julie Graham.

Keep it up guys!

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:58 pm  

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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