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Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Just say no

SEX! Hollyoaks, Channel 4, 6.30pm

This may come as something of an unpleasant piece of news to the LOWCULTURE messageboard posters on the infamous Hollyoaks thread, so we're just going to get it out of the way quickly, like ripping off a sticking plaster. Here goes: John Paul has sex with Hannah. Shield your eyes, children!

Obviously this is all going to end in tears, because we all know that John Paul/Craig = OTP 4ever and all that, but this messy business needs to be got out of the way in time for everyone to have a really emo Christmas. And frankly, anything that will stop Hannah from pawing all over him like she's going to spontaneously combust if they don't have sex that very second is good news by us, because frankly it's all rather embarrassing to watch. Seriously, Hannah: do you want to end up like Pregnant Child, with no babyfather on the scene?

Elsewhere in stories that we care much less about, Justin threatens to reveal that Jake kidnapped him (which was all a bit ludicrous in the first place, really) to ensure that Becca's baby gets born in a jail cell (how very white trash), and Boring Sasha encourages Michaela to make contact with her father. But who cares about all of this when there is clumsy, unwilling teenage sex to be had, eh?

By Steve :: Post link :: ::
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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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Previously

It's a motherfucking walk-off! :: Generation X :: Grab your coat, love :: Body of evidence :: Best. Night. Ever. :: Sullying the good name of trash :: Avert your eyes, children :: Whatcha gonna do when they come for you? :: Stuff the turkey :: Revenge, Aussie style ::

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