Monday, December 11, 2006
Sullying the good name of trash
FRACAS! Vanessa's Real Lives, ITV1, 12.30pm
NUPTIALS! Michelle and Andy's Big Day, ITV2, 9.00pm
A big slap on the wrist for Team LOWCULTURE - we completely missed the brand new series of Vanessa's Real Lives when we were scanning the TV listings, and we give our thanks to Nurse Dunkley over on the messageboards for bringing it to our attention. Consider us suitably chastened.
General feedback from the readers of our forum appears to have been something of amusement crossed with horror; whether Vanessa's brand of narrow-minded judgement is more or less offensive than Jeremy Kyle's still seems to be up for debate. Perhaps today's illuminating episode will make things clearer for us, as Vanessa speaks to the Britain's "most successful adult star", and asks if 17-year-old protegé Gemstone is too young to be involved in the sex industry. It sounds awful and awesome: awesomeful, if you will.
And just when you thought TV could sink no lower, look no further than ITV2, who have the second of a three-part series documenting the wedding of celebrity also-rans Michelle Heaton and Andy Scott-Lee. Do be sure to turn the brightness down on the telly before tuning in, just in case you're blinded by all the orange. Assuming you're one of the 12 people in the world who gives a toss outside of the bride and groom's families and former pop groups, this will be a fascinating insight. For the rest of us, it will be a car crash. Hooray!
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Michelle and Andy's wedding is the most gripping drama of the year!
By 5:40 pm, at
Could we coin the neologism 'awefulsome'?
Yes. Yes we can.