Monday, December 18, 2006
It's a motherfucking walk-off!
FIERCE! America's Next Top Model, Living TV, 9.00pm
And so we're down to the final three: Danielle, the gap-toothed Southern girl who ain't ditchin' her accent for no Miss Tyra Banks; Joanie, the rebellious preacher's daughter who's now minus one snaggletooth thanks to some extremely gross-looking dentistry; and Jade, the self-proclaimed "undiscovered supermodel" with delusions of grandeur and the world's most unfortunate hairdo. Seriously: what is up with that poodle perm?
Let's be perfectly honest here: it's not exactly spoilerrific of us to reveal that Jade is clearly not going to win this evening, as she's been kept in this long purely for the drama factor. Now that we're on the final episode of the cycle, we're free to get rid of her as quickly as possible and focus on the real competition here: Danielle vs Joanie. The best part is that they're both awesome and both deserve to win, so it's totally a win-win.
But before we can decide the winner (and by "we", we mean of course Tyra, Twiggy, Nigel and Miss J), we need to get through the infamous final runway challenge, and this year there's an interesting Thai twist - one hell of a long, zigzaggy runway that's more of a hike than a catwalk. So who's going to get crowned America's Next Top Model? We already know, obviously, thanks to the internet, but finding out is going to be as much fun as ever. This cycle's been a good'un, thanks in no small part to the inclusion of lots of crazy bitches. Long may that continue.