Wednesday, January 25, 2006
All the things we said
LOWCULTURE is three years old today. Hurrah! Over the next three days, we're going to take you on an overlong and extremely self-indulgent trip down memory lane, starting today with our best bits of 2003.
JANUARY 2003: Michael Barrymore made an ill-advised bid to relaunch his career by appearing on a reality TV show. Luckily it was only THE SALON, so nobody noticed.
FEBRUARY 2003: Pete Burns was making a comeback and we got all excited when he made a rare TV appearance, on LIQUID NEWS. Sadly, Liquid News is no longer on our tellies, and Christ alone knows what happened to Pete.
MARCH 2003: One of our more questionably sane readers wrote to us suggesting that the lyrics of Gina G's Eurovision hit, OOH AAH... JUST A LITTLE BIT had originally been concerned with a disgusting homosexual act between two women. The very idea! Deviant homosexual activity? Not round Gina G's house!
APRIL 2003: The FAME ACADEMY arena tour (ha!) kicked off in Aberdeen, and LOWCULTURE was there to witness the carnage. Lemar appeared in a puff of smoke. The others disappeared in a second one. Ever since, reality TV show tours have been an unexpected swansong for everyone involved – usually including the winners. Watch out for that dumper, Shayne!
MAY 2003: Strange things were afoot as we were visited in a dream by Mr Udigawa from NEIGHBOURS. We like to think that this set into motion a chain of events which led to last year's return of Paul Robinson. The really exciting news is that, in 2006, he is to be reunited with ex-wife Gail, and LOWCULTURE fully intends to take credit for this too.
JUNE 2003: LOWCULTURE's Paul was slightly freaked out this month to read MYSTIC MEG's prediction that 'a music-related wish can happen' and a new job would lead him to a new town. A matter of days later, he found out he was upping sticks from Aberdeen to London to work at Top Of The Pops Magazine. Ooooooooooooooh!
JULY 2003: When your favourite website was still coming live and direct from a flat across the road from Aberdeen bus station, a visit to the local gay club by a top pop act was something to get very excited about – even if the act was only the FAST FOOD ROCKERS. These days we're at G-A-Y most weeks, stifling a yawn and wondering who's got the poppers while we watch Dannii Minogue go through the motions for the upteenth time. Ooh, we've changed.
AUGUST 2003: It is a little-known (ie completely made up) fact that Saint Lowculture was the patron saint of lost causes. We're as religious as the next super-gay website, so we like to keep up his good work wherever possible. There's no other explanation, really, for our bizarre championing of large-hootered Pete Waterman pop prodigy LAUREN WATERWORTH. We got all excited about news that she was recording a second album, despite the fact that her first had been deemed too awful to release. Little did we know it would be an album of hymns! Saint Lowculture works in mysterious ways.
SEPTEMBER 2003: We did our bit to increase the take-up of digital TV by relentlessly plugging the new series of TERRI McINTYRE on BBC3. It was, as we predicted, brilliantly funny, but for some unfathomable reason it didn't cross over to a wider audience (unlike one of the stars, David Tennant, who has gone on to be quite successful in something-or-other). One interesting fact came to light in our Terri factfile, though – namely that the star and writer of the show, Simon Carlyle used to be a champion ice dancer. Which means that his forthcoming BBC2 comedy, BLADECAMP, should be well worth watching. We'll tell you more about it next week.
OCTOBER 2003: Well, looking back it seems that LOWCULTURE was pretty rubbish that month. Whoops.
NOVEMBER 2003: Inappropriate excitement alert! This was the month that LOWCULTURE's Paul found himself sitting on a plane next to CALVIN OUT OF S CLUB 8 and his impossibly tall hair. Hurrah!
DECEMBER 2003: Our first year came to a thrilling climax with the news that SCOOCH would soon be reforming for a one-off performance at G-A-Y. Unfortunately the events of that evening, when it came around, led to LOWCULTURE's steady descent into depression, paranoia and alcohol abuse. Just like an ordinary night at G-A-Y, really. But hey, at least we got to hear them sing theme from THE LITTLEST HOBO before going loopy.
» Join us tomorrow for a gentle coast through the fiasco that was 2004!
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2 Comments:
has it really been three years? it feels like so much longer...
but seriously, i've really enjoyed it. really enjoyed it. loved every minute. heaven only knows how much more work i'd have done if you hadn't been here for me.
many things have come and gone in the last three years - even within your very pages - but your reporting of important things, opinionated points of view, outrageous tone and fantastic wit has regularly had me screaming in agreement. actually sometimes it's a bit scary. but please don't stop - i don't know what i'd do.
with lots of love, kisses and celebratory champagne,
timothy jayne xx
By 
, at
11:24 pm
Wow has it been 3 years already? That's longer than most pop careers or new tv series get.
I was suckered into this site via the un-nervingly detailed coverage of the Sonia v Dollar bitchfight that was "Reborn in the USA" back in March 2003 and stayed for the...the....er, well whatever I stayed for, it keeps on coming...Bravo for sticking it out!
I'll have a beer for you!
Viva Lowculture!
By , at
1:12 pm
