Friday, November 25, 2005
Alert: impending soap gaiety
MOLLIES! Emmerdale, ITV1, 7.00pm
Ahhh, Paul the Drag Queen with the Peculiar Inflection. His inflection has grown less peculiar over his time in the village (probably all that time spent hanging around with the commoners) and we've grown somewhat fond of him. He's been through all the typical gay rites of passage for a soap opera: worked through some issues with his father, confronted his childhood demons, performed a drag act in the local pub...although we're not sure how many soap gays we can remember doing that last one in recent history. More's the pity, really; it might have made them more interesting.
Of course, there's still one rite of passage left to be covered, and it's the one that's often left until last - actually getting some action of a man-on-man variety. But what's this? Why, it looks like it could all be changing in a very positive way tonight. Paul's spent the week getting in shrewish half-sister Nicola's hair by thwarting her attempts to get her claws into Ivan the buff binman (and quite rightly so, for she is betrothed to Simon the nice-but-dull former fishmonger). This hasn't stopped the tiny hellion, who never takes "fuck off and leave me alone" for an answer, let alone "no", from flirting with Ivan like there's no tomorrow.
Imagine Nicola's horror then, when Ivan reveals (albeit not directly to her) that he's not remotely interested in Nicola and has in fact got the hots for her fey brother, and promptly gives him a bit of a kiss. "A bit" being the operative part of the sentence here, judging by the preview clip that we saw, but we're hopeful for a bit of soapy soft-porn action if something develops out of this. We demand proper boy-kissing, if only to prepare ourselves for yet another tedious pseudo-lesbian snog next week in EastEnderszzzz. And if Ivan is really having trouble deciding whether he prefers boys or girls, he could always date Thelma Louise as a happy compromise.