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The waw-uh in Mah-jork-ah don't taste like wha' it oughtah

MIAOW! My Fair Kerry, ITV1, 9.00pm
Hmm. Are you looking at this and thinking that, like the editors of The X Factor, we're reusing old material in a different context and just hoping that you won't notice? Well, you're sort of halfway there. We did originally preview this well over a month ago - 7 July, in fact - when it was originally scheduled to air, but for obvious reasons it was pulled from the schedules and replaced by running news. For less obvious reasons, it's only just found its way back into the listings, but better late than never, say we. Knowing that there is a virtually insatiable appetite amongst the public for lifestyle-makeover TV shows (for your consideration, we submit It's Me Or The Dog at 8pm on Channel 4 tonight, followed by Supernanny, and A Week Of Dressing Dangerously on BBC2), this must have sounded like something of a winner to ITV: in true Faking It style, former Atomic Kitten and Mrs Bryian McFadden Kerry Katona will attempt to pass herself off as a high-society princess. She's ably assisted by Count Carl-Philip Clam, who accommodates her in his fairytale castle in Austria (dude, is he gay or something? Seriously) for an intensive course in how to be a laydee. Presumably Emily Howard was unavailable to meet teaching commitments on this one. Of course, there will be a test at the end to see how successful the tuition has been, and Kerry has to know her caviar from her foie gras at a lavish aristocrat dinner. Let's just hope that the aristocrats who are trying to rumble her don't read Hello, watch Loose Women or I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here! or listen to early Atomic Kitten records. We're just sayin', is all.

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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