(function() { (function(){function c(a){this.t={};this.tick=function(a,c,b){var d=void 0!=b?b:(new Date).getTime();this.t[a]=[d,c];if(void 0==b)try{window.console.timeStamp("CSI/"+a)}catch(l){}};this.tick("start",null,a)}var a;if(window.performance)var e=(a=window.performance.timing)&&a.responseStart;var h=0=b&&(window.jstiming.srt=e-b)}if(a){var d=window.jstiming.load;0=b&&(d.tick("_wtsrt",void 0,b),d.tick("wtsrt_","_wtsrt", e),d.tick("tbsd_","wtsrt_"))}try{a=null,window.chrome&&window.chrome.csi&&(a=Math.floor(window.chrome.csi().pageT),d&&0=c&&window.jstiming.load.tick("aft")};var f=!1;function g(){f||(f=!0,window.jstiming.load.tick("firstScrollTime"))}window.addEventListener?window.addEventListener("scroll",g,!1):window.attachEvent("onscroll",g); })(); lowculture: And you thought the Big Brother housemates were bad...

And you thought the Big Brother housemates were bad...

EVICTION! Tenants From Hell 2005, ITV1, 9.00pm
Not an in-depth investigation of a particularly bad pint of lager (tee hee, we made a funny), but a somewhat trashy (indeed, why else would we be recommending it?) look at some of the UK's best reasons for not joining in the buy-to-let craze. The ...From Hell series is an enduring franchise, and it's a little alarming that we appear so have so many ghastly tenants in the country that they've made another edition of this particular theme. Celeb spotters may be interested to note that one of the culprits is none other than Kate Moss, causing upset when she takes her party lifestyle to the Cotswolds (and we'll leave you to make your own jokes about Pete Doherty), while those of you whose interests lie in the more sordid side of life - let us guess, that's most of you - can enjoy the tale of the home that became a brothel. We don't really know what's so surprising about that - judging by the decor we've had to put up with, every place lowculture has lived since moving to London has been a brothel at some point.
Also recommended: America's Next Top Model, Living TV, 9.00pm
It's not just the competition that's getting fierce this week, as Tyra and co seek further opportunities to throw the f-word (no, not that one) in wherever they can. Fans of cycle three Tiffany (the "skank ho [who] poured beer over [a girl's] weave!") as opposed to cycle four Tiffany (who is newly serene, having attended anger management classes) will be pleased to see the former resurfacing during an argument, and somebody takes the worst photo in ANTM history - but who?

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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