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All the TV that's mad, bad, or just a little bit evil for Friday. Our Tiny Tanya Turner ratings show just how low each show goes – the more Tanyas a show scores, the more mental it is.
» POPS! Top Of The Pops, BBC1, 7.30pm
It's not going to be a Friday night show for too much longer, so why not give Coronation Street a miss for once and spend a bit of time with an old friend? The line up looks pretty cool this week, as not only are Gwen Stefani and the Foo Fighters performing, but there's also an exclusive performance from the Black Eyed Peas, whose new single 'Don't Phunk With My Heart' we've sung so much recently that we've driven everyone we know around the bend.
» TOPS! American Idol, ITV2, 8.30pm
The final five of any reality TV singing contest is always a tense moment for us, since one of the people we're supporting always seems to prematurely get the boot at this stage: Debra Stephenson in Comic Relief Does Fame Academy, Hayley in Pop Idol, Susanne in Pop Idol 2...so, in other words, it's not looking good for Vonzell this week, is it? That said, with the entirely unexpected eviction of Constantine last week, it goes to show that it's still anyone's game...assuming their name is "Carrie" or "Bo".
» SHOPS! Playing It Straight, Channel 4, 10.00pm
We still kind of object to this show on principle, but we admit somewhat shamefacedly that it has turned out to be quite a lot of fun. There are just two weeks left for Zoe to prove that she has the most finely-tuned gaydar in the country (and if she manages that, she's coming clubbing with us). This week's Stereotyped Task involves the boys taking a trip to Puerto Vallerta to buy Zoe a new outfit. We'll be watching from behind our fingers, of course, but we'll be watching all the same.

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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