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All the TV that's mad, bad, or just a little bit evil for Thursday. Our Tiny Tanya Turner ratings show just how low each show goes – the more Tanyas a show scores, the more mental it is.
» WITCHES! Charmed, Living TV, 8.00pm
Yet another show where, thanks to the mid-season breaks, we're pretty much level with the US now. This week, Pandora's Box falls into the hands of evil (and there are all kinds of smutty jokes we could make there if this weren't a family website) and surprise surprise, it's down to the Charmed ones to sort it out. Well, the Charmed ones and their new "friend" Katya, who has a bit of a grudge against Zankou. Good girl.
» BITCHES! Footballers' Wives, ITV1, 9.00pm
The jury's still out on how well what is pretty much lowculture's flagship show is coping without Our Lady Of The Babysnatching, Tanya Turner, but the series soldiers on without her and so must we. We're pleased to see that Shannon is still doing her utmost to singlehandedly uphold the show's bonkers quotient, by adopting a granny to drum up some publicity, much to cute Harley's chagrin. Bruno's club is getting publicity, but not necessarily the good kind, and Lucy bears the brunt. And to add a little mystery, Hazel and Jackie are wondering just what the deal is with Roger's son - as, indeed, are we.
» GLITCHES! The Robinsons, BBC2, 9.30pm
Hold on to your hats everyone - it's a new sitcom. It's pretty nervous territory for all of us (more so for those of us who saw According To Bex), and we're not sure yet that we've heard enough about this show to convince us it's going to be anything out of the ordinary. Apparently it isn't entirely dissimilar to the hit US sitcom Arrested Development, as it centres around a dysfunctional and egotistical family, with one slightly more grounded central figure (in the shape of The Office's Martin Freeman, presumably doing what comes naturally these days) to ease us in. It's worth a look on the strength of the cast, but we're not making any promises at this stage.

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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