Tuesday, May 03, 2005
TANYA'S BLONDE HIGHLIGHTS
The all-new site isn't quite ready yet (the best things come to those who wait, and all that), but be thankful at least that Tanya has returned to guide you through this difficult and uncertain time, with all the TV that's mad, bad, or just a little bit evil for Tuesday. Our Tiny Tanya Turner ratings show just how low each show goes – the more Tanyas a show scores, the more mental it is.
» ADORE! My Best Friend..., BBC2, 3.00pm
It seems a shame to begin a series like this the day after the bank holiday, because it strikes us as the sort of lazy-afternoon viewing that would be perfect for just such an occasion. Nonetheless, we're going to recommend this first profile because the subject is a favourite of ours: Audrey Hepburn. Admittedly they do perhaps cheat a little bit in that the interviewee in question is her son Sean (we're assuming that they're using the get-out clause of "a boy's best friend is his mother", so we'll let them off this time). We're not expecting any new or controversial revelations, but it should just be fun to bask vicariously in the glamour and poise.
» ENCORE! Property Ladder, Channel 4, 8.00pm
A little change of format for this particular episode: the lovely and eternally patient Sarah Beeny returns to a property developer featured in a previous series to see if she's learned any lessons. Judging by almost everyone who's ever been on this programme, we're guessing that she hasn't, so this provides a whole new opportunity for Sarah to demonstrate her superlative skills of smiling beatifically whenever someone completely ignores her advice, instead of whacking them around the head with a two-by-four. We need to get this woman into parliament.
» RAPPORT! The O.C., E4, 9.00pm
This is the episode that many claim turns around the season's poor fortune and, well, makes it good again. It's 'The Mallpisode', which isn't a real word by anyone's imagination, but instead features that time-honoured plot contrivance beloved of teen dramas (we remember it fondly from Saved By The Bell) where the gang get locked in a shopping mall overnight. We're sure there'll be bonding of all kinds, and some hilarious amateur makeovers at the beauty counter, but what we're really interested in is the revelation that Julie Cooper-hypen-Nichol was in an amateur porn movie. Hands up everyone who's surprised? Yep, no one.