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TANYA'S BLONDE HIGHLIGHTS

All the TV that's mad, bad, or just a little bit evil for Thursday. Our Tiny Tanya Turner ratings show just how low each show goes – the more Tanyas a show scores, the more mental it is.
» PLIGHT! Little Angels, BBC1, 7.00pm
We can't quite explain what draws us to parenting programmes, given that (for obvious reasons) we're not really planning to impregnate any nice young ladies in the near future here at lowculture. However, Little Angels is one of our favourites of the genre, and is getting a repeat airing on BBC1 after initally going out on BBC3. The lovely Dr Tanya steps in this week to help address a pretty controversial debate: to smack, or not to smack?
» FIGHT! Footballers' Wives, ITV, 9.00pm
We've been a bit concerned so far this series that our Bitch-O-Meter is broken, since it's barely registering any bitching in Earl's Park. There's been a lot of veiled threatening, but a disappointing lack of all out bitching. We're hoping that's going to be addressed tonight, however, since it's time for baby Troy's lavish christening (which, we're fairly certain, will make Kyle and Chardonnay's wedding look like a modest civil ceremony) and Amber is all set to strap her bitch on and ruin the day for everyone. Hurrah!
» BRIGHT! Spellbound, Channel 4, 9.00pm
Yes, so it's a documentary about a bunch of kids - and geeky kids at that - swotting for and performing at spelling bees, but don't let that put you off. We're so ridiculously excited about this being on TV that we've pretty much cancelled all of our other engagements for tonight, and you'd better believe we'll be unplugging the phone. We'll be settling down to watch some modern-day heroes battle against adversity, with many falling by the wayside, with only one true victor to emerge in the aftermath. It's better than Gladiator - sort of.
» Is there something we've missed? Click on the comment link to share your tips.

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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