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TANYA'S BLONDE HIGHLIGHTS

All the TV that's mad, bad, or just a little bit evil for Tuesday. Our Tiny Tanya Turner ratings show just how low each show goes – the more Tanyas a show scores, the more mental it is.
» WOW! Property Ladder, Channel 4, 8.00pm
Squeee! We apologise for that uncharacteristic burst of excitement, but the thought of seven whole weeks of brand-new Sarah Beeny is just too wonderful. We love her, we really do. And we're totally listening to her expert advice on how to renovate a property for maximum profit, even if none of the dipshits who appear on the show are that way inclined. Tonight's would-be property tycoon sounds like a typical corker: Sue has decided that her makeover on a terraced house in Chingford will cost £20,000, despite having apparently done no research and made no serious calculations. She's doomed, the fool. Why does the lovely Sarah waste her time on these ungrateful lunatics? If the woman ends up making a profit due to a fortunate upturn in the market near the end of the project, we'll bitchslap her into the middle of next week.
» NOW! Supernanny, Channel 4, 9.00pm
Hot on the heels of a well-received first series, Jo Frost returns with her no-nonsense approach to child-rearing. She's taking on four unruly children who rule their house with a regime of terror, and whose harried mother has all but given up on them. This sounds awfully familiar...isn't Desperate Housewives on tomorrow, though? Tell you what: Lynette really needs to hire this woman.
» POW! The O.C., E4, 9.00pm
There's a party in Newport Beach this week, thrown in a goodnatured attempt to get the Cohen-Nichol clan back on good terms after the revelation that Caleb is Lindsay's father, and therefore Ryan is dating his sort-of aunt. Even without the blood relations, that's one serious amount of squick. Anyway, there's a fistfight in store, and we've gone about two weeks without one of those now, so we're long overdue. Oh, and in Potentially Interesting Subplot Given To Horrendously Dull And Thoroughly Unlikeable Character Land, Marissa is still experimenting with lesbianism. Yawn.
» Is there something we've missed? Click on the comment link to share your tips.

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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