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TANYA'S BLONDE HIGHLIGHTS

All the TV that's mad, bad, or just a little bit evil for Friday. Our Tiny Tanya Turner ratings show just how low each show goes - the more Tanyas a show scores, the more mental it is.
» BLISS! Coronation Street, ITV1, 7.30pm
Okay, so we're not having a royal wedding today due to the death of the Pope (some conspiracy theorists that we know reckon that was his intention all along, but we're not entirely convinced), however, the next best thing is a wedding of soap royalty, as Ken and Deirdre are tying the knot tonight - again! And once again, Ray Langton makes his presence felt during the proceedings, but in a more sombre and considerably less dramatic way than last time.
» AMISS! American Idol, ITV2, 8.30pm
We're still bummed (heh) by the ejection of Jessica last week, especially after Anwar's truly abysmal performance, and the fact that we really don't like Scott and just want him to go away. However, we will soldier on, in the hope of justice being done, and failing that, a decent glimpse of Ryan Seacrest's lovely biceps. Will a boy finally get the boot tonight? Will Constantine learn to emote sincerely instead of pulling insincere Melua-esque faces? Can Simon think of any more hyperbole to pile on Carrie? None or fewer of these questions may be answered during tonight's show.
» THIS! Melrose Place, Five, 4.25am
When there's little else on TV to recommend, we can always rely on the repeats of Melrose Place to give us some pure sudsy joy. Yes, it's on at a completely godly hour, but set your video, or TiVo, or Sky Plus, and watch it on Sunday morning instead of the Hollyoaks omnibus to remind yourself what a proper soap should be like. Tonight Alison wins the Glorious Gowns campaign. We don't really know what that means, but if we know our soaps, we're sure that someone's going to be really pissed off about that. src="http://www.lowculture.co.uk/images/tinytanya.jpg">
» Is there something we've missed? Click on the comment link to share your tips. PS - This bit was actually written by Steve, but he can't get Blogger to work. D'oh!

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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