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Wednesday, April 06, 2005

TANYA'S BLONDE HIGHLIGHTS

All the TV that's mad, bad, or just a little bit evil for Wednesday. Our Tiny Tanya Turner ratings show just how low each show goes – the more Tanyas a show scores, the more mental it is.
» EW! Richard & Judy, Channel 4, 5.00pm
We don't know if anyone else has spotted this, but all week Dick 'n' Jude have been running one of the most disturbing competitions we've ever seen. It's so disturbing and distracting that we can't even remember what the prize is, we just know it's got something to do with Desperate Housewives. Basically ordinary British housewives are performing classic scenes from the series, including the scene where Gabrielle fires Yao Lin and the scene where Bree waxes lyrical about the joys of dinner parties. By far the most disturbing, however, is the spoof of the DH credits featuring Richard and Judy as Adam and Eve. Avert your eyes, or risk losing your sight altogether. You've been warned.
» OOH! Grand Designs Revisited, Channel 4, 9.00pm
We're still on a property high after the return of Property Ladder last night, so we're going to indulge ourselves further with the extremely likeable Kevin McCloud as he gets all in-depth and architectural with some more highly ambitious renovators. This week they're tackling a large, wrecked stone building in Edinburgh, in the hope of turning it into what we probably shouldn't call Building Porn, but we're going to anyway.
» SPEW! Desperate Housewives, Channel 4, 10.00pm
Oh, Lynette. Please make up your mind. You got us to like you again last week, and this week you have to ruin it by being a complete bitch to your elderly neighbour, and then not even apologising. What are you trying to do to us? Meanwhile, the residents of Wisteria Lane are enjoying Valentine's Day - Gabrielle is modelling beds for money, Bree is experimenting with indulging Rex's sexual fetishes (including some of the funniest scenes we've ever seen on this show, especially the ensuing disagreement over their control word), and Susan goes out for dinner with Mike to a pretentious restaurant and flashes her lady garden at one of the waiters. Don't try to act surprised, we all saw that coming, didn't we?
» Is there something we've missed? Click on the comment link to share your tips.

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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TANYA'S BLONDE HIGHLIGHTS :: TANYA'S BLONDE HIGHLIGHTS :: TANYA'S BLONDE HIGHLIGHTS :: TANYA'S BLONDE HIGHLIGHTS :: HMM, THAT WAS A BIT QUICK, WASN'T IT? :: TANYA'S BLONDE HIGHLIGHTS :: TANYA'S BLONDE HIGHLIGHTS :: TANYA'S BLONDE HIGHLIGHTS :: DEEP IN A PERFECT MOMENT* :: TANYA'S BLONDE HIGHLIGHTS ::

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