Thursday, April 07, 2005
SECURE, YET STYLISH
The Ukranian telly people have somehow got hold of our email address, and have been bombarding us with daily bursts of information about how preparations for this year's Eurovision Song Contest are progressing.
The authorities are confident they will be able to put all the necessary security arrangements in place before the contest, and cite their sterling work in making sure the recent inauguration of the President of Ukraine went off without a hitch as proof they are up to the job.
It seems uncharitable at this point to draw attention to certain difficulties that presented themselves in the run-up to this happy event – let's just be grateful that the government is only responsible for security, not the adjudication of the telephone vote.
In any case, we are much more excited to learn that the European Broadcasting Union forbids Eurovision security personnel to be decked out in any kind of military or police uniforms. This has opened up an exciting opportunity for the country's top fashion designers to come up with a suitably festive alternative, and we will report back as soon as we establish whether they have opted for gold lame jackets or a tasteful faux fur gilet with satin firearm holster.
Whatever they end up wearing, we can but hope that the guards are a bit more on the ball than the Turkish ones the lowculture party encountered last year in Istanbul when, despite having no accreditation, we managed to talk our way past an armed checkpoint by virtue of one of us being a glamorous blonde girl.