Thursday, March 31, 2005
TANYA'S BLONDE HIGHLIGHTS
All the TV that's mad, bad, or just a little bit evil for Thursday. Our Tiny Tanya Turner ratings show just how low each show goes – the more Tanyas a show scores, the more mental it is.
» SCAM! Neighbours, BBC1, 1.40/5.35pm
It's not looking good for Boyd and Sky at the moment - despite their cunning plan of lying to the police that they were watching a movie on TV at the time of Gus's death, they didn't quite do their research well enough to realise that the movie in question wasn't screened due to the tennis overrunning. That pesky tennis, eh? The scourge of many an alibi.
» JAM! Charmed, Living TV, 8.00pm
There's some creepy shit going on in San Francisco - somehow Leo and the Avatars have managed to manufacture Utopia, but at the expense of free will, turning everybody into weird Stepford-esque automatons who are relentlessly chirpy all of the time. Still, after some of the misery the Halliwells have gone through in recent year, would permanent perkiness be such a terrible thing? Oh, all right.
» GLAM! Footballers' Wives, ITV1, 9.00pm
This can only be a special birthday present (for Steve's birthday, not Tanya's) from ITV1 as the reason for lowculture's being returns for a new series. Conrad is considering himself something of a super-stud after learning that both Amber and Tanya are pregnant, but Tanya is still secretly fearing that the father of her baby is her dearly departed husband Frank (whom, you'll remember, she memorably shagged to death in the last series). It's a full-on 90 minute series opener, and we're willing to bet it'll be a game of two halves, and, er, some other football references. Enjoy.
» Is there something we've missed? Click on the comment link to share your tips.