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All the TV that's mad, bad, or just a little bit evil for Friday. Our Tiny Tanya Turner ratings show just how low each show goes – the more Tanyas a show scores, the more mental it is.
» HOT! American Idol, ITV2, 8.30pm
It's really starting to heat up Stateside in the fourth search for a superstar - they would appear to have more untapped talent than we do over here, since we pretty much ran out of Idols after one-and-a-half series. We've already waved goodbye to Lindsay and Mikalah (pronounced "Michaela", for anybody who doesn't speak weirdass spelling), but who will be the third contestant to get the boot? We're not ruling out Nadia or Antony (largely because we know they were both in the bottom three last week), but it'll all depend on the performance on the night, of course. And when we're not enjoying the music, we'll be fretting silently about the fact that we quite want to bone Ryan Seacrest. Please do not judge us.
» SHOT! The Games: The Live Final, Channel 4, 9.30pm
It feels as if we've just begun, when suddenly we're through. But enough of the song lyrics from the theme to Bear In The Big Blue House, because it's the finale of The Games tonight! Just who will be crowned the victor, following in the heady steps of showbiz luminaries like, er, Terri Dwyer? Our money's on Philip or Kirsty, but since we made this prediction on Sunday night, way before most of the events took place, we reserve the right to be utterly wrong.
» WHAT?! Footballers' Wives, BBC4, 10.20pm
Yes, we know this was on yesterday, and no we didn't get the channel wrong. BBC4 has been having a retrospective of television throughout the ages all week, and tonight it's the turn of the noughties, and we're extremely pleased that they've chosen such a wonderfully lowculture show to represent this decade. And remember kids, if it's on BBC4, it's intellectual and educational, and don't let anybody tell you otherwise.
» Is there something we've missed? Click on the comment link to share your tips.

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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