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Only last week, lowculture reader dvboy announced – in our very own comments box, if you please! – that we were "really rubbish at choosing good TV". Well, in the absence of our regular TV previewer Steve, let's just see if dvboy can do any better with his selections, shall we? Hurrumph! Our Tiny Tanya Turner ratings show just how low each show goes – the more Tanyas a show scores, the more mental it is.
» HOW VERY HETERO! Chris Moyles' Red Nose Rally, 7.30pm BBC3
You might wake up to him every morning (I don't get up 'til lunchtime) in which case you'll have heard him banging on about his road trip from John O'Groats to Land's End for the last month. Just remember, it's "all for charidee, folks".
» HOW VERY RETRO! Look Around You Live Final, BBC2, 9pm
HRH Sir Prince Charles is due to present the trophy for the Invention of the Year 1970-something. Let's hope its an airbag (ooh controversial).
» HOW VERY METRO! Banned In The UK! Channel 4, 11:05pm
All those things that we weren't allowed to do or say or hear or even think in the early 80s. But now it's 2005 we can. And don't we all take advatange of it, us dirty whores!
» Like the cut of dvboy's jib? Read more at this location. But don't forget to report back here afterwards, because you know how we feel about disloyal readers.

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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