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TANYA'S BLONDE HIGHLIGHTS

All the TV that's mad, bad, or just a little bit evil for Monday. Our Tiny Tanya Turner ratings show just how low each show goes – the more Tanyas a show scores, the more mental it is.
» AVOW! Faith, BBC1, 9.00pm
Sadly not a Buffy spin-off, this is a one-off drama set during the 1984-5 miners' strike, and focusing on the families and friends torn apart by the wider ramifications of the strike. If this all sounds a bit too highbrow for lowculture, fear not, since we'd also like to point out that Adrian Bower of Teachers fame plays one of the lead roles, and we'll be watching just because we love him.
» MEOW! The Bitchiest Ever TV Moments, Five, 9.00pm
Now this is more like it. Over two hours of primetime TV devoted to the catfights of TV's biggest bitches - and that's even before you factor in Julian Clary as the host. We're promised Sharon Osbourne, Sadie King, Alexis Colby and, erm, Elton John, but lowculture may well be going on strike if Footballers' Wives' (and lowculture's) Tanya Turner or Melrose Place's Amanda Woodward or Dr Kimberly Shaw get overlooked. We knows our bitches.
» HOW?! Smallville, E4, 9.00pm
After the excitement of The Flash's guest appearance last week, we're back to standard Smallville territory as some kind of freaky mojo causes Clark to switch bodies with Lionel Luthor. Should be interesting, but we may have to avert our eyes when Tom Welling tries to act two separate characters, since it's generally painful enough just watching him attempt one.
» Is there something we've missed? Click on the comment link to share your tips.

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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