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All the TV that's mad, bad, or just a little bit evil for Tuesday. Our Tiny Tanya Turner ratings show just how low each show goes – the more Tanyas a show scores, the more mental it is.
» FACE! New Face, New Life?, BBC One, 9.00pm
This is one of those rare programmes that we recommend in all seriousness and won't make any jokes about it, just because it's really not a laughing matter. This documentary follows a selection of parents whose children are disfigured, and their dilemma regarding whether they should attempt to "normalise" the child's appearance. Probably not very comfortable viewing, but it should be food for thought, especially for those of you who are desperate for us to recommend something other than Footballers' Wives.
» RACE! The O.C., E4, 9.00pm
Our favourite TV monster, Julie Cooper-hyphen-Nichol takes centre stage this week, as she gets incarcerated hubby Caleb to put her in charge of his businesses. Meanwhile, Seth is still trying to do the "just good friends" thing with Summer and Zach, and we're still sitting on the sofa shouting "just kiss, you fools" at the end of every Seth/Ryan bonding scene.
» ACE! Shameless, Channel 4, 10.00pm
In an incident that may well appear all-too-familiar to the bummers that frequent this site, Mandy compromises her role as Ian's beard by getting herself up the Hilary Duff with Lip's baby. Oh yes. This should be good stuff.
» Is there something we've missed? Click on the comment link to share your tips.

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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