Monday, February 07, 2005
He was right – I am so excited by the line-up to this year of the BRITISH competitors of the Eurovisión that I had to be given the tranquilliser of the horse and being blocked in a padded cell for the weekend.
The news that grieves me most is that my old enemy Gina G is trying again for the glory of the Euro. I have not spoken to Gina from 1996 to this day, as the minx idiot had me expelled from the arena of the Eurovisión to suggest that I would lend her my device that vibrates if she really wished "a little bit more".
I loved the G4 in the Factor Of X on the television, so I am satisfied something to see that they are included here also, although cannot understand why it is being called Tricolore, and also worried about the location of the small blonde one – that is the only one I would touch myself in favour of.
A blonde one who is not so small, or always so blonde, is Katie Price. Its biography says that it is something called a "model of the enchantment". I hope she does not think
that it will be able to out-enchant I, Gigliola, or I will take to the her rear part of the BBC and will kick her head in with my enchanted foot.
I am much more happy of the presence of Javine in the formation. I always have taste to favour the underdog – although if any dog is further under than her, I am she.
Last is beautiful Andy Scott-Lee, that we hope we will do better than its equally beautiful brother last year. I have already installed my secret cameras in his room of dressing, and think this will be the year to finally outwit to people of the BBC security.
Watch out for my exclusive backstage report on the night of the Eurovisión: Making YourMind Up on Saturday March 5. I can promise emotions, spillings, and an unfortunate accident featuring that Natasha Kaplinsky and a great bathtub of the slurry.