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All the TV that's mad, bad, or just a little bit evil for Thursday. Our Tiny Tanya Turner ratings show just how low each show goes – the more Tanyas a show scores, the more mental it is.
» HAZE! General Hospital, ABC1, 1.05pm
Okay, we'll admit it: we got alarmingly hooked on this US soap opera when we were staying with our Freeview-receiving parents over Christmas. We feel suitably ashamed, now shut up. Today: some beautiful people suffer some larger-than-life dilemmas whilst exchanging smouldering looks with each other. Business as usual, then.
» DAZE! Charmed, LivingTV, 8.00pm
If the episode title 'The Bare Witch Project' weren't enough of a warning, let us spell it out for you. BEWARE: this episode features a "naked" Alyssa Milano. Quite at what point the producers thought there was a straight man in the world who'd sit through an episode of Charmed long enough to witness Milano in the skinny (and boy, do we mean the skinny) in the last three minutes, we're not quite sure. Some of the idiots from the magic school accidentally conjure up Lady Godiva, just in case you're wondering, and the sisters try to return her to her own time, but not before she's given airhead Phoebe some inspiration on "feminism". Ye goddesses.
» BLAZE! Rescue Me, Sky One, 10.00pm
Sky One continues its attempt to make itself appear to more ABC1 viewers (as in high-earning professional types, not necessarily viewers of the channel ABC1) with this gritty drama about fire crews in post-9/11 New York City. Looks quite good, if we say so ourselves.
» Is there something we've missed? Click on the comment link to share your tips.

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According to Marxist theory, cultural forms such as opera, classical music and the literary works of Shakespeare all fall under the heading of high culture. Low culture refers to a wide variety of cultural themes that are characterised by their consumption by the masses. We might not be Marxists, but we do know we loved Footballers Wives. If you do too, you'll know what this is all about.

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